Ironic, huh?

God very directly and matter-of-factly asked me to share my story with others…

I have a genetic condition called Turner’s Syndrome where I am missing a piece of my second x chromosome on some of the cells in my body.

I use my diagnosis of TS to inspire and challenge me in countless ways, every single day.

With a sense of purpose that was born when I was diagnosed with TS at age 16, I am pursuing the study of biology and a career in science (neuroendocrinology and biochemistry). My initial diagnosis created my curiosity to understand the complexities of human biology and expand our knowledge of its grand design through research.

For the most part, my life has been quite normal (prom, college, graduation, marriage) and has been filled with both successes and challenges. But reflecting on the last 13 years of my life in more depth, my diagnosis and coping with TS have accelerated my emotional growth and maturation, and given me purpose, conviction, and inspiration. Without a shadow of doubt, my personal growth and strength would not have been possible without the support and inspiration of my heroic husband Wayne and my amazing parents whom I adore with everything I have. I am humbled and awestruck each day in my academic and scientific pursuits by the intricate complexities of biology, and in all aspects of God’s beautifully designed creations.

Through my scientific endeavors, I continue to allow my diagnosis with TS to inspire my curiosity, my love of biology, and my faith and trust in God and His divine plan for my life.

The deletion of a piece of my second x chromosome in some of my cells was clearly not a genetic mistake, but a foundation for biological curiosity and faith in God’s divine story. I firmly and deeply maintain my faith in God’s divine creation despite my years of daily injections of human growth hormone, my lifetime of prescriptions, and my infertility.

The philosophy and mission of STORYCHURCH truly expresses the deeply rooted faith which arose in me with my initial diagnosis and which continues to grow in my daily scientific research. I spend my each day embracing my diagnosis and my story, with all of the difficulties therein (some days are much easier than others). That said, my relationship and my walk with God have truly grown through STORYCHURCH; and my God-given purpose is truly renewed in STORYCHURCH.

With that sentiment, I encourage everyone to embrace their own unique genetic make-up and circumstances and the God-given talents their combination creates in your heart and mind.

Growing up, I can remember going to a church.  We stopped going when I was around seven for some reason.

Elementary and middle school were tough due to being picked on because of my left hand and arm.  I was not able to do everything everyone else was able to do.  I wasn’t totally sure why God would allow me to go through this type of life.

Sometimes I was so depressed I thought about just running away and possibly giving up on life, but I felt something or someone telling me it would be ok.

Once I got into high school I was invited to join a ministry that went to jails and teen detention centers. I went for the first time to check it out and loved it. I had finally found a group of people my age that liked me and accepted me for the way God had made me.  Shortly after that I started going to a church that my sister found called Lancaster County Bible Church.  It was then I finally realized who Jesus was and I became a much more happier and more fulfilled person.

Eventually after a lot of praying, thinking, faith, and courage I started telling my story/testimony at our concerts at the jails and teen detention centers.

It was such an awesome knowing that through my story people’s lives could be changed.

Then I graduated high school and went to a technical institute in the western part of PA and at times in my life I started to to do some stuff that got in my way of being connected with God.

Shortly after I graduated from the technical institute my parents moved down here to Greenville, NC to be closer to my oldest sister and brother in-law and then eventually my first nephew for 3 years.  We found a great church called Christ’s Church and reconnected to God and Jesus.

The weekend before Christmas this past year we moved over here to Durham.  I have two awesome nephews now! I started looking for churches in the area and prayed that I would be led to the church God wanted me to be at.

A few weeks later, once we were settled in enough, I started going to Story Church and from the very first day I’ve felt so welcomed.

I was totally excited.  Once I finished the book I was excited for my future ministry and how I was going to help people, I bought everyone the book.

Like Jeremy has mentioned before, when people first become Christians you can’t get them to stop talking about God and what is going on in their life and heart and that was totally me.  It was awesome.

Somewhere along the line I lost that.  I believed in God and would still read my Bible from time to time and would attend church, but was kind of going through the motions of it all.

I would constantly just see my sin and my faults and get so paralyzed by them.

It was pretty neat how my husband Josh and I got to attend Story Church’s first official Church meeting.  We found out about it from randomly clicking on a Facebook ad (still the only ad of FB that I have actually purposefully clicked on).  From the very beginning Josh and I felt connected and enjoyed it.  I personally started getting excited about my faith again and was reminded how I do have a purpose , a story that God is telling in my life.  I started to get excited about what God wants me to do, I felt so energized and alive.

One thing that I really love about Story Church is the authenticity.

I feel comfortable to share my fears and struggles with people.  A lot of times for me it is easier to talk about struggles after I have kind of moved on from them, but I have found myself sharing struggles that I am currently having and it feels very freeing being able to do that.  I feel as though I can be real with what is really going on in my life and in my heart.

Like I mentioned earlier, I would really get discouraged in my walk when I was reminded time and time again of my imperfection and it would almost make me distance myself from God because I felt like I could never measure up.  Even though I knew deep down that is not how God felt about it.  Since coming to Story Church I have started to embrace more where I am at on my spiritual journey and my relationship with Jesus.

I realize more how God can use me where I am, and to just keep pressing on and moving forward.

At about age 12, my curiosity for life’s dangers took hold. Perhaps because of peer pressure, negative influences, the devil, or a combination of them all, my life turned on a new path of self-destruction. The peace and joy drifted out of sight and out of mind.

Before long, there was not a vice or sin I hadn’t fallen into or a line I hadn’t crossed—you name it, I probably tried it.

At 15, I had a terrible experience doing things I shouldn’t have been doing, and that landed me in the emergency room. I remember pleading with God to rescue me and shine his light though the darkness in my mind… but there was no answer. That lack of response ignited a stream of emotions: anger, desperation, and fear—but the feeling that left a lasting imprint on my life was doubt.

In college, I took a historical geology class in which we learned about evolution and the historical discoveries of the earth. Science made sense to me. It filled a void that was missing in my distorted view of life. I thought, “Maybe science can explain why I didn’t receive any clear answers from God when I cried out to him. Perhaps he is not really there at all!

The typical distractions of college life prevented me from seeking any real or authentic ways of finding peace.

The more I studied science, the more I ruled out Christianity. I was swimming in the deep, dark waters of atheism and agnosticism. I remember reading Richard Dawkins’ book, “The God Delusion,” and thinking that these Christians were just gullible people who were scared of death; religion was a security blanket they used to hide their fears. Then came good ole Hurricane Katrina.

Hurricane Katrina altered everyone’s life in Southern Louisiana, including mine, because it blew my wife, Jillien, into my life.  I remember seeing her and knowing that I had to get to know her better.  When I unveiled my somewhat intense desire to talk about theology and religion and she didn’t run the other way, I knew she was something special. Of course, I was still leading a sinful life, and we were both shocked when we found out we were expecting a baby. This unexpected responsibility forced me to reflect on where my life was heading. Life got hard fast.

After a few years of struggling, trying to get on our feet as a new family, Jillien decided we needed to go to church.

Internally, I found it funny (I guess the joke was on me), but after some persuasion, I agreed. I figured it would be fun to point out all the faults. So we eventually attended a church called Healing Place, where we lived in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. The first sermon we attended altered the course of my life. It was called “The Drift.”

I left “The Drift” sermon in pure amazement and bewilderment. How was it possible for a pastor to so accurately paint a picture of where I was in life? I was very skeptical, but it definitely gave me goose bumps all over! Was this the so-called “Spirit? My curiosity brought me back to hear more. Even though, as an agnostic, I considered Christianity foolish, I desperately wanted it to be true after hearing such a powerful message of hope! It was just that there was an intellectual battle in my head that prevented me from fully submitting. Jesus seemed so unbelievable! Rising from the dead! I felt that I would never reach a point where I could fully believe in the resurrection and confess it to be true. I had to believe in what made sense and was actually true, not what I hoped was true.

Fast forward to Story Church, where we planted our family after relocating to Raleigh, North Carolina with my job. Story Church was different than the church in Louisiana. We were used to staying in the comfort of our seats, hidden among the thousands of people that attended. Being part of the audience was easy for me, because I was a huge introvert who was truly intimidated by Christians (this sounds really silly now). At Healing Place Church there were so many opportunities for me to volunteer and meet people, but I couldn’t help the urge to just run away. I was taken out of my comfort zone and engulfed by a wave of new people –unique, kind, genuine, loving people who really seemed to care about Christ’s message. I realized immediately that I had to put the truths I learned at Healing Place Church to the test at Story Church.

It was pretty scary and even embarrassing at times, but with each little step forward at Story Church, God revealed himself in ways that I did not expect.

Now I was experiencing God’s word rather than just hearing it. Jesus’ message was no longer static; God’s word was alive, dynamic! It became clear to me that the time had come to be obedient and take the next step – baptism.

Baptism was powerful. It symbolized the biggest victory in my life. Baptism was more than a public confession; it represented sealing shut the old chapter in my life. When I came out of the water, I knew that a new life had just begun.

Reflecting on where I am now is just incredible. The painting of Jesus I had in my mind as a child has taken a new form, and the color has been restored. I am forever grateful to my wife Jillien, Jeremy, Kimi, and all my friends at Story Church for being courageous, obedient, and selfless in their pursuit to follow Jesus. Amen.

On July 20, 2009 I didn’t know that my life would change forever. I was at work doing my regular routine when all of a sudden I started to not feel right. I was extremely dizzy, confused, and felt like I was going to lose consciousness.

I called out to my co-workers and they called 911. I was transported to the hospital and could not find anything wrong with me. I went home still not feeling right but I knew life had to go on. I started following up with doctors and a few more tests were done showing all to find nothing abnormal. I was feeling better and shrugged it off and just thought it would be just one of those weird things that no one can ever explain. The following November I started to not feel right again and was getting so fatigued and several other symptoms, that I will not go into detail. I was then so ill that I could not get out of bed. Over the next 3 months I was out of work, I was seen in several hospitals and specialists. All tests were again normal and the doctors just shaking their head. Even stating that it might just be in my head.

During this time I started to question my life and even on Christmas Eve of that year believing that I wasn’t going to make it through the night.

That night I felt the worst that I had felt ever in my life. I with the little strength I had started to write notes to my parents and friends saying goodbye. I obviously made it through the night but the next day I started to read what I had written and looked back in my life thinking that I still felt like I was missing a big piece. The notes or my story to my family and friends was empty feeling.

In the next few days I had a moment that I felt strong enough to get out of bed for a little bit. I decided that I was going to go outside and walk down the driveway to get the mail. For not being able to get out of bed in weeks I was excited about this venture. My roommate walked with me to make sure I was alright. I opened the mail box and saw amongst the dreaded bills and junk mail there was this flyer that had the name Story Church on it. Normally I had always scoffed at the thought of church in my life. Thinking that church is just another social club – remember I grew up in church and was left with a bad taste in my mouth. I then took the flyer and popped my roommate on his head and said “you need to go to church man”. He then took the flyer and said the same to me, then tossed the flyer back at me. I looked down at it about to put it in the junk mail pile in my hand but for some reason I could just stare at the flyer. I couldn’t throw it away so I just put it on my desk in my room that I was held captive to do to my illness.

For the next few days I just kept looking at the flyer from across the room. I decided to go to this churches website and checked them out on facebook.

The church actually hadn’t had their 1st official service yet. At that time I couldn’t stop thinking about Jesus. I started to pray again, something that I had not seriously done in a very long time. I didn’t physically feel better but emotionally and spiritually started to feel alive again. And it just seemed like I started getting phone calls from people in my past telling me that God had brought them back to him and they were turning their lives around and feeling better about their selves. I was telling them about my mystery illness but that I was ok. I believed that God was taking care of me now. I started praying that if I could get better I promised Him that I would go to this Story Church.

Another month went by and I had to temperately move back to Virginia as I could not take care of myself anymore. I would lay there my body shaking and feeling miserable with no energy. But every moment I was praying and getting stronger with my faith in Jesus. I was also listening to the podcasts from Story Church. If I couldn’t be there physically I was at least going to be a part of this place as much as I could. I remember every week waiting in anticipation for the new podcast to come out. I did start to wonder if I was ever going to get to physically be there and meet the people there. But then all of a sudden I started to get my strength back. I was determined to get my life back. But I knew it would never be the same. God had given me enough to get back home and start working again part time.

I was nervously excited I was finally going to be able to go to this church. I remember I walked in and the first person I saw was Jeremy Copeland. I shook his hand I recognized his voice from the podcast. I will admit I was holding back tears.

I told him man I have been listening to you every week. God had started to change my life from your flyer. I then gave him a brief part of my story. I felt like I had made it finally, I was still at the time getting used to walking again but I just knew for some reason I was exactly where I was supposed to be at the right time and place. They gave me a book and I went home and sat outside read the whole thing. Now I still to this day don’t feel normal. I am still seeing many doctors. The current count I have seen over 25 doctors and they have just started to come up with some potential reasons for my illness. But I get a joy out of telling all the doctors and my friends how God has changed my life. I had to in a way die to live again.

I have recently talked to several of old and newer friends and they have given or turned back to God in their lives. My co-workers have seen a big change in my life. I am not scared of tomorrow anymore. I know God has a plan and is actively using me to make a difference. I have finally felt like I am complete in Jesus my lord and savior. Story Church has been my rock, shown me love and acceptance. Story Church had become a family to me. I actually thank God everyday for making me ill so that my life could be changed. I do and will not regret my experience and know I will grow from this.

I may not be promised tomorrow, but I can guarantee I can serve Jesus today while embracing the story I was meant to live.